we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
