idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."