is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV