So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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