I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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