If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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