Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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