She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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