garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
