that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
