Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Floor bacon is actually really good
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
