I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
