and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I AM VODKA MAN
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
