Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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