i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
