He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
