This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
