i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
