the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize