My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
