haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
