I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
