...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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