I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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