i just google imaged poop.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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