I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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