Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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