Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
