ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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