I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
