U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Everyone says I win the strip club
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize