She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
