Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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