Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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