Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
