If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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