I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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