Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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