Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
