As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
