Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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