I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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