My hand turned me down
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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