So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
