Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Holy shit dude........stairs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
