Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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