i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
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I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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