He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
