I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
