one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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