She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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