Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
