I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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