Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
