he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This couple is walking their pig around campus
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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