Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
