I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
