Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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