so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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