what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
